


Little Miss Perfect

by sunflower_swan



Series: DA Discord Flash Fics [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Anxiety, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, F/F, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Jock Harry Potter, Mean Girls References, POV First Person, POV Pansy Parkinson, Pre-Slash, Self-Hatred, Sleepovers, Slurs, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_swan/pseuds/sunflower_swan
Summary: Pansy has a perfect life: good grades, good friends, good future. There's only one small "problem" but she won't let that ruin everything.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson
Series: DA Discord Flash Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162157
Comments: 22
Kudos: 36
Collections: DA's Found Family - Make The Yuletide Gay





	Little Miss Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [KrysKrossZee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrysKrossZee/pseuds/KrysKrossZee) in the [FoundFamilyMakeTheYuletideGay](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FoundFamilyMakeTheYuletideGay) collection. 



> Written for Dumbledore’s Armada Flash Fest: Found Family - Make the Yuletide Gay.
> 
> Song Prompt: [Taylor Louderman and Write Out Loud, “Little Miss Perfect”](https://youtu.be/VhZIikh-z7g)
> 
> THANK YOU for the love and encouragement [Ravendor_Neera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravendor_Neera/works)! Couldn't have done it without you! <3
> 
> Trying something new with first-person present tense here.  
> *sweats* I hope this works…

_RIIIIING!_

Right AirPod in? Check.

Got all my books and junk? Check.

I press play and slip my iPhone into the front pocket of my high-waisted skinnies. The back pocket allows for easier access but casts an unflattering silhouette. So into the front pocket, it must go.

Paul’s melodic tenor fills my ear over the din of the hallway and I shoulder my way through the jostling throng.

> _‘Well I can find my way_
> 
> _I know my left from right_
> 
> _Because we never close_
> 
> _I’m open day and night’_

No matter what happens, I know Paul will always be there for me. Despite the vast age difference, Sir Paul McCartney might be my true love. Which is rather sad to think about, so I don’t. Blame my adoptive mother.

“Hey! Pansy!” the captain of the football team shouts as I walk past his locker. He slams it shut and pushes through the crowd to catch up with me. When he does, he wraps a strong, letterman-clad arm around my shoulder until our sides press together.

Hiding my grimace, I plant on the bright smile I’ve practised in the mirror so often it became natural.

“Hi, Harry.” My voice has a raised lilt that I don’t like but seems to please everyone else.

“So, uh…” He musses up his black hair with his free hand (not that it needed the help). “… my parents are out of town this weekend and I’m having a party. Think I might see you there?”

_No._

“Yeah, maybe.” I look up and grin.

“Cool. I’ll text you the details.” Harry winks an emerald eye and peels off me to join a group of jocks.

 _Ugh. Stupid boys._ I rub my shoulder where I can still feel the lingering presence of his palm.

Finally reaching my locker, I spin the combination and open the battered door. The pristine and organized inside is like a mini-oasis of calm and order.

The Calculus book leaves my arms to sit atop the Physics book on the upper shelf. Graphing calculator goes to its home in a hanging pouch on the inside of the door. Three-ring binder finds its place among the rest along the bottom.

My adoptive father’s voice echoes in my head. ‘ _A place for everything and everything in its place.’_

In the corner of my eye, an unexpected swish of red hair makes my head turn.

Time slows and the commotion surrounding me dulls. Outside the window, a cloud parts and a bright, sunny spotlight casts the giggling ginger and her blonde friend into sharp relief. My heartbeat quickens as I follow their path through the congestion. Watching their easy laughter and familiar touches cause a weight to settle in my chest.

> _‘Let me help you out_
> 
> _Let me be your guy_
> 
> _I can help you reach the love you feel inside’_

Paul croons. I don’t think even he is that good.

“Whatcha looking at?” a smooth voice drawls behind me.

The rush of time speeding back up blooms in my neck and settles in my cheeks. I snap my head and gape into the too-knowing face of my friend-but-basically-brother, Draco.

“She’s quite pretty,” he continues, “the athletic ginger. Those black leggings don’t leave much to the imagination, do they?” Draco flashes a broad, pointy grin.

I force a laugh. “I don’t know _what_ you’re talking about.”

He shrugs. I worry he’s not convinced.

“So what are we doing tonight?” he asks, leaning against the nearby lockers. “I hear Potter is having a party.”

“ _We_ are not doing anything.” Checking my reflection in the magnetic locker mirror, I reapply my lip gloss and add with an air of nonchalance, “Hermione’s coming over tonight.”

Draco tilts his head and smirks. “Oh, _really_?”

He drags out the EE sound in the word ‘really’. The way he knows grinds on my nerves and I shoot him daggers which do nothing to dampen his spirit.

“Sleep-over… sounds fun!” The annoying brat claps and rubs his hands together. “I’ll bring the pillows for the pillow fight, shall I? Is this event more lingerie formal or cosy casual? What time should I get there?”

“You are an absolute menace!” I hiss and punch him in the shoulder.

Not hard, not really, but hard enough he’s knocked a bit off balance.

Cursing the day my parents decided to move next door to the Malfoys, I add, “Besides, you know Hermione doesn’t care for you all that much.”

His stupid smirk is back when he says in a sing-song voice, “Oh _I_ know, but do _you_?”

He bops my nose with his index finger like he’s done every day since we were in preschool and swaggers off down the hall.

Before I have time to ponder that cryptic statement, Hermione is jogging up to me in the emptying hallway. Her backpack is slung over one shoulder and her curly brown hair is twisted back with a yellow pencil.

“Sorry, I’m late!” She skids to a stop next to my locker, breathing heavy. “Lost track of time and had a lot of supplies to put away.”

“You have charcoal on your face.” I swipe the remnants of her art project away from her cheek with my thumb.

My hand lingers a moment on her soft, warm jaw. Her lips part as though to reply but no words come out. A tingling begins at the base of my neck… 

I push the moment aside and shut my locker. “We’re going to be late for lunch.”

* * *

We part at the end of lunch for our separate classes. Time moves at a snail’s pace until the last bell of the day, and I daydream my way through AP English and College Government.

However, after meeting Hermione on the front steps of the school and walking to my house, it blurs together in a jumble of laughter, pizza delivery, and caffeinated beverages.

While a movie about a formerly homeschooled girl infiltrating the popular girl’s clique plays on the TV, we sit on my bed and Hermione braids my hair. She says my straight tresses are perfect for the intricate Celtic braid she found on Pinterest.

Gentle fingers rake across my tingling scalp.

I close my eyes, lost in the feeling of her hands running through my hair.

A soft sigh escapes my lips.

The audio of the movie fades away…

…

I’m not sure… but I must have blacked out or something… because the next thing I know Hermione is handing me a mirror and the main character in the movie is sharing her prom crown with everyone.

Hermione’s radiant face is reflected over my shoulder as I turn my head this way and that, inspecting my hair in the mirror.

“Well?” She bounces as though she could burst. “What do you think?”

“It looks so good! I love it!”

I rotate to face her and wrap my arms around her shoulders, burrowing my face in her springy mane of curls, for a friendly thank-you-hug.

Ok.

A longer than normal… still casual hug.

Until it’s not.

Pulling back slightly, my eyes flit about her face: wide eyes, parted lips, blushing cheeks. I jerkily shift one hand from Hermione’s back to brush a stray curl from her forehead.

I don’t remember the decision to lean forward. 

Nor when I tilt my head to the side.

My stomach flutters as my lips meet hers. I feel hot and cold at the same time. Light-headedness swoops over me because I’m not breathing.

I break the contact.

And breathe.

_Breathe!_

The window reflects my wide, blinking eyes and raised brows.

I can’t breathe.

“I-- I--” I stutter, and scramble off the bed and toward the door. “I’m sorry.”

Down the hall and to the bathroom I speed walk. My chest tightens as I shut and lock the door behind me. Back pressed to the door, I slowly sink to the floor.

_No… No, no, no! What are you doing?_

Fists clenched at the sides of my head, my fingernails bite into my palms. The pain reminds me to inhale…

And exhale…

_What will people say?_

A coldness radiates from the pit of my upset stomach.

In my head, I can hear their voices echo: _dyke… lesbo… gaygaygay…_

 _No,_ I tell myself. _This is not you. You’re just confused. It’s not worth it._

I sit on the floor of my bathroom for a long time, holding back the impending panic. At one point I think someone knocks but I do not open the door.

Eventually, I calm down enough to formulate a plan for damage control.

It didn’t happen. Easy as that. Hermione will understand.

When I emerge from the bathroom, she is waiting for me in the hallway.

**Author's Note:**

> I was not going to participate in this challenge. Prompt claiming went live in the middle of my night-time, I have other things to work on, etc. etc. etc. Then I made the mistake of looking at the remaining three prompts and a plunny attacked me. Maybe one day I’ll learn. Until then, you will have treats like this to look forward to.
> 
> The song Pansy listens to in the hallway is ["Find My Way"](https://youtu.be/2oSmP3GtOBk) from Paul McCartney's newest album, [_McCartney III_](https://youtu.be/b5rnlPK0vjk)
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this morsel of a story. I left the ending a bit open-ended on purpose. I'd like to wish for a HEA... but idk?
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://sunflower-swan.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> **If you or someone you know is having difficulty understanding or accepting their sexuality or gender, or coming out to their friends and/or family, then here are some resources.**  
> [GLAAD](https://www.glaad.org/resources)  
> [TrevorProject](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/)  
> [It Gets Better Project](https://itgetsbetter.org/)  
> [Human Rights Campaign](https://www.hrc.org/resources)  
> [National Center for Transgender Equality](https://transequality.org/)
> 
> XOXO


End file.
